Hair grows,
Snow melts.
The little boy lies back on the bench, sun-drenched.

Spring 2010 again

"Ah, lover and perfect equal!"
Where do you roam?
Too many entanglements
Between us
And they grow
As our hairs slowly fall.
With no proof of your
existence
I have a fire, humble, burning
As you roam and the entanglements grow
more complex.
At odd times in the dark,
I feel a flutter
in the pit of my stomach,
a slow song in my heart.
"Ah, lover and perfect equal!"
Keep my space vacant-
That vessel.
Music, beauty and subtle
utterances
will make us collide.

Spring 2010

This is
exactly what I wanted.
Short and sort of sweet,
going off with a bang
and wrapping up nicely
in a neat little knot.
Easy come and easy go
Heart intact,
curiosity satisfied, hands clean.
And yet-
it is heavy somewhere
inside;
it is cold and white
outside.
A kind of emptiness, a haze,
is present in all I see.
Sunshine makes me
drowsy
I close and open my eyes
but it is still day
and everything is grey.

Some scribbles from 2005-2006

Huniig enhriilj, hunruu tsatsarmaar bna.
Uuriin zovlong martaj, tuunii harts,
ineemsegleld avtmaar bna.
Tseejimn dotroo hamgiin hovor, exotic tsetsegs
delgeruulmeer bna.
Uvliin huiten salhind usee hiisgen guimeer bna.

***

Namaigaa zurkhendee badruulj yavaarai,
Bi chamruugaa guigeed ochno.
Namaigaa setgeldee bagtaaj baigaarai,
Udahgui bi chiniih bolno.
Zurhee gartaa atgan, huiten uvliin salhind usee hiisgen
Chamruugaa bi guij yavna.

***

With you, a great big thing in me died completely.
See the emptiness in my eyes, all but ashes.
The light in them could never be revived
Ever since you disappeared.

Yet the pain has never quite died completely.
See the hollowness in my heart, all but tangled thorns.
The joy could never be truly revived
Ever since you disappeared.

***

These were from a period when I transitioned from naive, happy type to stone cold bitch. :-(

But, as life would have it, things change and people grow. My heart has been melted since then...

Long - 2008

Couldn't help but notice
the longness of your arms
long and lean, and lightly bronzed, even down
with a perfectly beautiful wrist bone
jutting out as you reach for a cup.

Can't help but notice
the longness of your eyes
long and lovely, dark and deep
they pull and hold me, like a magnet.
How they are like mysterious wings on your
beautiful narrow face.

From my old notepads - 2006 probably

You thrive, with two hearts
beating restlessly,
pumping out energy.
I lie here half-alive,
faded flickers of a life past
before my eyes,
that old empty void in my gaping chest.
While you grow wings that lift
you into the skies,
I remain down here, in the shadows,
decaying slowly.