Papa, why do we like to destroy
ourselves? You and me?
Tell me, when you were young,
were you me?

I am so dry and thirsty for my first inhalation
downwards,
fumes blowing high,
you slumped on the ground,
a broken puppet with the cat at his feet.

I pull down my face, feel
my innards swell and pull down
with all the poison, the shit
I deliberately expose myself to.

Papa, we'll sail down a beautiful sunny river one day,
I'm telling you, you and me,
Together and parallel.
I will gift you a bookcase, or maybe build from scratch
with wood you dream about,
manual saws.

All that is in us that we try to drown,
burn, hide,
that which sometimes explodes!
without warning,
we should, you know, Aav,
I think release it in machinery and creation.

Daddy, I'm your girl,
but Aav, I am your huu.
You and me, we share
blood and monsters
angels and despair, but Papa, don't despair.
Let's find some other broken
shit to repair.